Caring for a Parent: No Regrets for this “Daddy’s Girl”

Most young people develop their social lives when they’re in their teens and early twenties. They do things like go to parties and hang out with friends.

For Alexis Brockington, things were a little different. Her mother died when Alexis was only four years old and, naturally, she became “daddy’s girl.” She was 16 when her world was turned upside down: her father, Stephen, was diagnosed with young onset dementia. From then on, Alexis dedicated herself to being his primary caregiver.

Today, Stephen is 64 and Alexis is 23. About a year ago, he moved from his St. James area home to Seven Oaks Hospital while waiting for placement in a care home. In April 2021 a permanent home was found for him in a specialized dementia care unit at a facility in St. Boniface.

Alexis is relieved her dad is safe and well cared for. She can visit him every day, but no longer shoulders the total responsibility for his well-being.

“Did I give up a lot? Yes and no. I didn’t travel or go to parties. I had to leave work sometimes to make sure he was safe and wasn’t wandering outside the house. The police found him a couple of times.  But I tried my best… and I’d do it again,” she says.

Stephen was a realtor in Winnipeg for 25 years before his diagnosis ended his career. “He really loved real estate and was a really strong individual. He was a super chatty person. Everybody loved him,” says Alexis.

It was a terrific blow to hear her dad’s diagnosis, but she knew he needed her. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way,” she says.

These last few years Alexis has worked as a waitress while caring for her dad. “I didn’t have a chance to go to university because it would have been too time consuming,” she says. That changed since her dad moved into the care home. This fall, she began her first year of university, where she is going to study social work. “I like helping people,” she says, simply.

Alexis reached out for help from the Alzheimer Society, connecting with client support for advice. Looking back on the years she cared for her dad, she realizes she should have tried to get help sooner to relieve some of the burden on herself and to obtain more information.

She advises others to act more quickly than she did. “Seek out resources and supports as soon as you can. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.”