Gary’s Story

It’s been nine years since my wife Brenda was diagnosed with dementia.

Before connecting with the Alzheimer Society, I felt like I was drowning in a sea of uncertainty. Their caring staff gave me hope when I felt utterly lost, helping me to better understand dementia and deal with what was happening around me.

Attending a care partner support group is one of the best things I’ve done. The other care partners and I have a connection. We share, we talk freely and whatever we say stays there. I would encourage anyone who is navigating dementia to find a support group, even if you get there and think it’s not for you, stick with it and you’ll see how listening to others’ experiences with dementia will help you.

With help from the Society, I learned to adjust how I interact with Brenda and adapt to whatever comes our way.

For example, I came home one day to find Brenda frying bacon directly on the stove without a pan. I’ve learned to be as calm as possible when reacting to situations like this and to approach these moments in a way that doesn’t embarrass, startle or annoy her. This helps Brenda keep her trust in me and gives us both a comfortable space to work through challenges.

To anyone facing dementia – reach out to the Alzheimer Society. You don’t have to go through it alone. They have the information, tips, education sessions and support groups that can help you no matter what challenges you may be experiencing.

I consider the Society part of my family – that’s how big of an impact they’ve had on our lives.

I have an acronym I’d like to share that helps me through the hard days:

SAFETY

S – Simplicity: Keep it as simple as possible when caring for a person living with dementia.

A – Alzheimer Society: This is where you go for support. This is where you can ask for help.

F – Faith: Whether it’s spiritual faith or faith in yourself, rely on that.

E – Education: Educate yourself on dementia. Attend workshops, conferences or other learning opportunities through the Alzheimer Society.

T – Talk: Talk about it, tell others about what you’re going through. This way, people become more aware of dementia.

Y –You/yourself: Take care of yourself. Respite can be very helpful, and your well-being is important too.